“Can one learn internal medicine in a day?”

The Fool from the Pier Six Tarot Project.

Nata Bìsson © Cyrway & De Salme. Artwork by Cyrway.

To paraphrase my friend and medical expert whom I constantly tap for anything having to do with medicine and bodily injury.

Currently, I’ve requested fourteen items from the MINERVA system. For those unfamiliar to MINERVA, it is the interlibrary loan website for the state of Maine’s library system. For Waterville Public Library patrons, it’s a free service. A definite tool when one must research.

As for research, I am collecting information for the second book, codename: Exodus. Or “AKBAR.” It could be a trap. Originally, it would focus on the were-critters in our universe. Then we kinda decided the were-critters were kinda silly and kinda dumped them. (This really had nothing to do with the saturation with were-critters in mainstream young adult fiction, either — we really couldn’t see how lycanthropy could advance the plot. And the fact that the former-were-critters could do the same thing, only better, as humans.) Which scrapped most of Exodus’s major plot in the process.

But I am undeterred, thus the fourteen–now fifteen, I just requested a book on the Spetsnaz–reference books dealing with (the exception being the one about the Spetsnaz) anthropology–biological and forensic–and archaeology. Some of these are “forbidden” or “alternative” studies. Hey, if the History Channel can have documentaries regarding aliens, why not?

Scratch that. The one on the top is “Song of Ice and Fire” (“Game of Thrones” to those watching the HBO series) audiobook, which I had to return because there’s a waiting list ten patrons deep and I was only on disc 16 of 28. So fourteen reference books.

I love researching. Expanding one’s knowledge base is engaging and fulfilling, and it helps to pretend one knows what one’s doing. Or end up creating disturbing entertaining films for sick ducks like The Human Centipede. Which is not based on actual science, regardless of what the tagline claims.

Which also helps having people like The Doctor (Dylan, the same guy whom, when picking up on my reluctance on seeing the third live action Transformers movie, suggested that I watch the new Doctor Who series. Yes, he’s to blame, but at the same time, it made me realise that I was suffering from a media Stockholm syndrome, as Michael Bay had been holding me hostage, as I was convinced that I had to watch the third Transformers movie because I was a Transfan, not because it was a good movie. Thus, I broke the cycle and, to this day, I have yet to see the third Transformers movie, and to that I am glad and thankful that The Doctor had saved me from wishing to watch more Michael Bay movies…unless Michael Bay decides to do a Doctor Who movie. Then I’m swearing off all fandoms and becoming a hermit. But I digress.) on call to run stuff by to see if it’s remotely plausible. Which apparently the dude who wrote Human Centipede did. (As did the writers for the Doctor Who season 17 episode Creature from the Pit, where they had discussed with physicists on the probability of utilising a neutron star as a weapon by encasing it in aluminum, which turned out to be a head-scratching moment for this Whovian with her rudimentary understanding of astrophysics.)

But The Doctor (Dylan, that is) is a neurologist (and yes, that is a sonic screwdriver in his pocket), which I hope means he knows his stuff. Because seriously, would you like the guy whom gave advice for The Human Centipede be your gastroenterologist? I know I’d be a little worried if that guy was staring through an endoscope.

In the long run, the time taken for research — the time it takes to clean an automatic pistol versus a revolver, or the difference between biological and sociological anthropology, or what branches of science take out-of-place artifacts seriously — can make or break a book, methinks.

Kind of like how Firefly rocked because the space battles outside of the ship were dead silent (thus making the trip through Reaver territory during  Serenity even creepier in the long run), versus other sci-fi shows, where big, loud explosions were the norm. Which does one take seriously?

And how did this blog post turn into a biopic of geekdom?

And, for the record, no, I don’t watch Big Bang Theory. A customer of ours said it best: “Avoid shows with a laugh track.” And apparently, Big Bang Theory’s science is flawed.


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